Waukesha City News https://waukeshacitynews.com Waukesha County's finest satirical news source. All stories are fictional. en-us County Fair Planning Committee Declares Funnel Cake vs. Cream Puff Debate "Tabled Until Conditions Improve" As Fair Opens At 96 Degrees https://waukeshacitynews.com/county-fair-heat-truce https://waukeshacitynews.com/county-fair-heat-truce Thu, 16 Jul 2026 09:00:00 -0500 The committee voted 8-1 to observe what its chair called "thermal neutrality" after opening-day concession data showed both items outsold four-to-one by a $9 cup of ice. A Visitor's Guide To Waukesha: Everything To Know Before Your First 25 Minutes Behind The Train https://waukeshacitynews.com/visitors-guide https://waukeshacitynews.com/visitors-guide Thu, 16 Jul 2026 08:00:00 -0500 The streets are one-way, the train is stopped, and the roundabout has claimed another sedan. Our complete guide for first-time visitors, including the Newhall Avenue secret locals won't tell you. F-35 Nails Its July 4th Flyover, Then Spends 41 Minutes Lost Downtown And Stuck Behind A Train https://waukeshacitynews.com/f35-parade-flyover https://waukeshacitynews.com/f35-parade-flyover Sat, 04 Jul 2026 12:00:00 -0500 "The jet performed flawlessly," says a Wisconsin Air National Guard spokesperson. "The one-ways got it. The one-ways get everybody." Backslide Way's Ned England Has Two Issues He'd Like To Raise: The Hospital Speeders, And That Honda https://waukeshacitynews.com/ned-england-lawn https://waukeshacitynews.com/ned-england-lawn Tue, 30 Jun 2026 12:00:00 -0500 "I'm not asking for a task force. I'm asking for awareness. And maybe a task force," says England, 70, who has documented both situations and begun a YouTube playlist.