Waukesha Sports Bars Implement "Readiness Protocols" Ahead Of Packers Preseason

WAUKESHA — Local sports bars have begun implementing what several managers are calling "readiness protocols" ahead of the Green Bay Packers' three-game preseason slate, which opens Aug. 13 at 6 p.m. against the Pittsburgh Steelers and marks, for practical Waukesha County purposes, the start of the football calendar.

Randy Voss, manager of Fourth Down Bar & Grill on Sunset Drive, said preparations began Monday despite the fact that none of the three preseason games will feature a starting quarterback for longer than a single series. Green Bay follows the Pittsburgh game with Denver on Aug. 21 at 8 p.m. and closes the slate against Arizona on Aug. 28 at 7 p.m.

"This is historically our worst three weeks of the year for staffing," Voss said. "Nobody knows if it's going to be fourteen people who left the TV on by accident or eighty people who need a full order of boneless wings by the second quarter, and corporate wants us prepared for the eighty."

The Longest, Most Painful Three Games

Voss's protocol, distributed to Fourth Down's eleven part-time staff Tuesday, calls for a second keg of Spotted Cow tapped before kickoff, all nineteen of the bar's televisions set to the game rather than the usual rotation that includes two tuned to the Brewers, and one additional bartender scheduled for each preseason date despite what Voss's own sales data shows is a 40 percent drop in food and beverage volume compared to a regular-season Sunday.

"I've worked here nine years," Voss said. "I can tell you exactly how this goes. First quarter, place is full, everybody's excited. Third quarter, the starters have been in the locker room since the second, and it's me, four regulars, and a table of guys watching Aaron Jones's replacement instead of Aaron Jones's replacement's replacement. It's the longest, most painful three games of the year, and I order extra limes for all of them anyway."

"It's the longest, most painful three games of the year, and I order extra limes for all of them anyway."

— Randy Voss, manager, Fourth Down Bar & Grill

Not every establishment is treating the preseason with equal gravity. Terri Ondrachek, who manages the bar at Broadway's Iron Kettle Supper Club, said her protocol amounts to "leaving the TV on the game and not really thinking about it further," and noted that the Iron Kettle's preseason Friday crowd is functionally identical to any other Friday crowd, "just with a football on in the corner instead of the Brewers." Ondrachek said she has never ordered extra inventory for a preseason date in fourteen years managing the room and does not intend to start with Pittsburgh.

A Second Set Of Readiness Protocols, Unofficial

Not all preparations are commercial. Ned England, 70, of Backslide Way, said he has already positioned two additional lawn chairs in his driveway ahead of the Aug. 13 opener to document what he's calling "traffic congestion patterns during game-day hours," a project he plans to run alongside his existing monitoring of his Nedsmokedout YouTube channel, which he checks periodically for regional air-quality updates during the stakeout.

England said he does not expect preseason traffic on Backslide Way to approach the volume he documented during last season's playoff games, but said he intends to log baseline numbers regardless "so I have something to compare August to once the games start counting." He said his equipment for the Aug. 13 session would include the same radar gun he uses for his ongoing speeding-traffic documentation and a folding table for a laptop, in case "something needs to go on the record in real time."

Voss, informed of England's plans, said he was unfamiliar with the Backslide Way situation but offered a diagnosis anyway. "Sounds like a guy who's also going to have a long, painful three weeks," Voss said. "Tell him the extra limes are on me if he wants to just come inside."

Both the Pittsburgh and Denver preseason games are scheduled for Wisconsin evenings that remain within the heat advisory window the National Weather Service has flagged as possible through mid-August, a detail Voss said factored into his decision to keep the bar's rooftop patio closed for all three dates. "We'll open the patio when it's actually football weather," Voss said. "Right now it's just weather that has football on in the background."